My husbands cousin was killed in a motorcycle accident this weekend. He was in a 24 hour race with 3 other teammates. Something happened and we may never know what but he crashed hard and did not make it.
My husband and I have been dealing with this in very different ways. He wants to give the family space not make them talk about it. I on the other hand want to know everything. I have been on the bloody Internet since we found out at 8pm on Saturday night/ Halloween. Trying to find something in the news media, blogs, websites, forums ANYTHING. To no avail. Information slowly started to appear and I started to get a better idea of what happened during the race.
What I did learn was what a good racer Kevin was. I never heard about any of this stuff. I knew he was good but the Knudtson family is not really a talk about it kind of family. Kevin was very awesome at what he did. I wish I had known about it all before so I could have talked to Kevin about it. However that is not who Kevin was. He is quiet and humble like his dad he will only discuss things with you if he wanted too. There is nothing wrong with that. It is just not who I am. Duh I am writing on a blog.
I had taken a lot of guff awhile back when a friend of ours was going through a tough time. I dealt with it in my way and it wasn't appreciated. Think facebook and asking a ton of questions. So I was being more muted when it came to this well I thought so anyway. (I just realized it wasn't that long ago it was four months ago when Kevin got married)
Then I got the phone call. "I asked Kevin's brother if he minded what was posted on Facebook and all"
Here it comes I am going to get in trouble for expressing myself and dealing with a tragedy in my way, deep breathe here it comes.
"He said no he is glad that people are talking about it" oh thank god.
I am a talker it is how I get things off my chest I want to share my pain and my feelings get them out. Let other people realize what a great kid this was.
REMEMBER HIM.
What else can we do. I do not understand how my Hubby doesn't want to talk about it. Is he too close? Is he still too mad at his cousin for choosing at 14 to ride motorcycles and not play baseball? He won't talk about it he won't ask questions he won't try to find answers. Man he could never be an investigative reporter.
I MISS KEVIN. Not only to I miss him but I miss the opportunities that he will not have. For him and for those around him. He will never get to meet his niece who will be born in December. She/It will never get to meet her awesome Uncle. He will never be able to celebrate his first anniversary with his wife. Neither will his wife Jami. I missed out on making him his wedding album. We hadn't been able to afford it yet so it hadn't been done. That one really sucks and pissed me off to no end. Kevin will never understand the joy of having a child and seeing how much they are like you, the good and the bad. He will never be able to hold them like a football in the middle of the night and rock them to sleep. He will never be able to talk like a doofus just to make the little one smile. I miss that he will not grow old with his brother to sit on the porch swing and talk about the good old times. When they used to throw firecrackers into a garbage can because it made a bigger boom. When they used to work on cars with their grandpa in the barn and later with their dad in their garage that has been described to me as "bigger than the house". Kevin won't call his mom on his way home from work just to say hey. He won't drop of the dogs at his parents house while he and Jami were at work. He won't be able to talk trucks with my son and show him how to ride a motorcycle. He won't be able to come with his brother and take his bronco on the 'lions back' after they stop by our house on the way south to Moab.
Kevin was a great son, a great nephew, a good cousin, a good brother, a new husband and he will be missed by all. Thank you for accepting me into your family.
Kevin please keep on eye on your wife. She is doing very well dealing with all of this and now she has lots of help. She is going to need your support please be there for her. Please watch out over the newest Parks to come into this world that he/she is healthy.
Please let us remember you always.
We love you Kevin Parks and you will be alive in our hearts till the end of time. You made you mark on this world WAY TOO EARLY. WE MISS YOU more each day.
Thank you Jami for having this picture on your fb page I will take it down if you want it is just so beautiful of you and your husband and your kids.
As all the forums have been putting and I think it is very apropos
RIP #10 Ride on
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